Tumhe Apni Zindagi Main Ek Shark Chahiye…

A, B, C were having lunch together on a sunny afternoon. While eating the delicious Ghar-Ka-Khana, C started an interesting discussion

C:  A, why don’t you get married.

A: You are not my well wisher. I hope to stay single for some more time.

B: You often say that life has become dull and boring. The marriage will make it happening. Let me tell you a story

One upon a time in Japan, people could find fish very close to the sea shore. Gradually, all the fishes on the sea shore were consumed by the Japanese people. Now, the fishermen had to go a bit further to catch the fishes. It used to take one day to come back from the sea, which made the fishes stale. As time passed, the fishermen had to go even further into the sea due to which they started taking five days to come back. The fisheries business was badly affected because of the fishes getting stale.

A young fisherman thought of an idea of freezing the fishes to keep them fresh. Although the quality improved, the business did not catch up. Then the fisherman, made a small pool in his boat. Even though the fishes were alive when delivered to market, they became dull in the pool. Next, the fisherman put a shark inside the pool. Now, the fishes were as fresh as they used to be when they were caught on the sea shore.

So, tumhe apni zindagi main ek shark chahiye (You need a shark in your life). Shaadi kar lo (Get married).

All of us shared a healthy laugh at the end of the story. We were still laughing, when C’s phone rang.

C: Lo meri shark ka phone aa gaya.

In the hustle & bustle, C poured curry over his trouser. [;)].

A, B, C were having lunch together on a sunny afternoon. While eating the delicious Ghar-Ka-Khana, C started an interesting discussion

C:  A, why don’t you get married.

A: You are not my well wisher. I hope to stay single for some more time.

B: You often say that life has become dull and boring. The marriage will make it happening. Let me tell you a story

One upon a time in Japan, people could find fish very close to the sea shore. Gradually, all the fishes on the sea shore were consumed by the Japanese people. Now, the fishermen had to go a bit further to catch the fishes. It used to take one day to come back from the sea, which made the fishes stale. As time passed, the fishermen had to go even further into the sea due to which they started taking five days to come back. The fisheries business was badly affected because of the fishes getting stale.

A young fisherman thought of an idea of freezing the fishes to keep them fresh. Although the quality improved, the business did not catch up. Then the fisherman made a small pool in his boat. Even though the fishes were alive when delivered to market, they became dull in the pool. Next, the fisherman put a shark inside the pool. Now, the fishes were as fresh as they used to be when they were caught on the sea shore.

So, tumhe apni zindagi main ek shark chahiye (You need a shark in your life). Shaadi kar lo (Get married).

All of them shared a healthy laugh at the end of the story. They were still laughing, when C’s phone rang.

C: Lo meri shark ka phone aa gaya.

In the hustle & bustle, C poured curry over his trouser. [;)].

Cheers!!

Gnan

Life is about making mistakes,
It’s about putting things at stake,
Sometimes one mistake is not enough,
To understand what went wrong…

Results do matter,
So, does the means,
While we have read the Gita’s scriptures long back,
We still worry and lose track..

Life is more about learning,
Following a goal and not worrying,
Doing so would make us happier,
and, surely, achievers….

Cheers!!

Kaminey Kraze

“Kafam fe jab fe Kaminey ka trailer dekha hai, main bhi fha ko fha bolna laga hoon” Fuch haf been the craze of Kaminey that people have ftopped ufing the letter ‘f’. How ftrange? I hope to watch the firft day laft fhow of the movie.

Bangalore traffic doesn’t stop for pedestrians. But men in white, who whistle often, can stop the crazy people on sane vehicles at their will. I love to walk in my free time. One day I was coming back from such a walk. I wanted to cross the road but the drunk drivers were in no mood to let me do so. Even the man in white was not willing to stop the traffic. It had already been ten minutes, since I was standing on a side of the road. I looked at him with contempt; he gave me a more furious stare. Then a pretty girl came who wanted to cross the road. The traffic policeman looked at her, adored her and whistled with extra air in an excitement to help her in crossing the road. He himself walked beside her towards the other side of the road. I thanked the girl in my mind and resumed walking towards my unknown destination.

There is a juice junction close my home. Earlier, the shop had fresh fruit juices and salad to offer. Recently, new delicacies have been added to the otherwise nutritious menu. Now, burgers and similar junk food items are served with enthusiasm. I could also see a lot of pretty girls with their boys having a burger feast. The shop owner understood the need of the potential customers. He understood that if he attracts a girl to his shop, more people will visit along with her.  The other day, I saw a girl asking her sweating boyfriend about whether to go to Chilies or Papa Jones. A recent research has shown that girls love junk food more than their boy friends but they still are able look slim and beautiful. Only a girl can give some tips on how not to eat healthy and still manage to stay in perfect shape.

Women are empowered. I saw an ad on the television in which a girl comes to see a prospective groom, applies breaks continually while driving a two wheeler to sense her boyfriend’s masculinity and gropes a boy in a public transport. Now, the boys accept that they should learn cooking while the ladies prefer to stay away from it. I know girls who bluntly told their boy friends that they cannot live with their in-laws after the marriage. The boyfriends agreed. There is a proverb in Sanskrit

‘Ati Sarvatra Varjayet.’
(Excess of anything is bad.)

I hate male chauvinism but I hope that women empowerment will not turn into female chauvinism.

By the way, do not miff Kaminey.

Cheers!!

The layoff song..

I hope you shall understand,
This is ‘the’ new trend,
I believe you shall understand the purport,
As I have always have had your support…

You have to go,
I aint sure what you gonna do,
It has been nice working with you,
It’s time for you to say adieu…

You worked pretty well,
But the product didn’t sell,
Now the market has crashed,
It has left us without cash…

So,

You have to go,
I aint sure what you gonna do,
It has been nice working with you,
It’s time for you to say adieu…

Life doesn’t halt,
Assume that it is a new start,
You have gotta find a new station,
This time it would need a li’l more preparation..

I’m sorry, but…

You have to go,
I aint sure what you gonna do,
It has been nice working with you,
It’s time for you to say adieu…

You have little time left,
Perhaps this is the shortest deadline we have ever set,
Please leave a courtesy mail in your colleagues’ inbox,
And pack your belongings in the wooden box…

Keep in touch wherever you go,
I aint sure what you gonna do,
It has been nice working with you,
It’s time for you to say adieu..

Cheers!!!!

Impossible Is Nothing

The mountains may be high,
But their peaks have been conquered..

The oceans may be deep,
But their depth has been measured..

The questions may be difficult,
But their answers have been found,

Objectives may look impossible,
But they have been achieved..

If you dream impossibe,
And have the courage to keep pushing..
I am sure,
Impossible is nothing…

Cheers!!

The WIMAX Analogy

In WIMAX *, when a modem tries to connect to the network, it sends a code to the network over the air.
This is the same thing we do when we pray. We send our wishes (code) bound in words to God (network).

The network may or may not honor the modem’s request. It depends upon how busy the network is and how important is your request.
Similarly, the God may or may not honor prayers.

When the network doesn’t listen to modem’s requests, the modem keeps doing the ranging.
We keep praying until our wish is granted.

The network responds to the request asking the modem to send details of how much bandwidth it wants. When modem sends the details to the network, the networks checks whether the request is more than what should be allocated to this modem. If so, the network grants the modem’s wishes. If the request is more than the allowed limit, network grants the wish partially.
When we ask God for something, he (or she) verifies whether we are asking for too much or we are asking something we deserve. When we ask for too much, partial wish is granted. But when we wish for what we deserve, the wish is granted.

When the modem always asks for too much bandwidth, its request never gets satisfied.
When we keep asking for more than what we deserve, our wish is never granted. We die unsatisfied.

Some modems subscribe to very high quality of service. Satisfying the request of these modems is the most important objective of network.
Some people ask for something that is necessary for their existence. Granting the wishes of such people is of highest priority to God.

Sometime important requests are lesser. In such times, less important requests are granted.
Of course, some people are lucky. Aren’t they?

If man designs a system in such a way that it is fair to all the modems, then how the God can be biased towards anybody. God is always fair.

* WIMAX is a next generation wireless networking technology.

Cheers!!

Low Waist Jeans: Pros and Cons

I visited Amoeba located at Church Street today. Pankaj Advani was also chilling out with his friends and girl friends at Amoeba. I liked one of his girl friends most, the lady in dark green top and blue denim. Girl, if you are reading this please contact me at 269E1065250. Actually, my brother also liked her the most, but I am his elder brother. So, I get the privilege. I hope Pankaj Ji would not mind it. Well, if he does, I would send him my sincere electronic apologies. I was dying to take Pankaj Ji’s autograph but I did not have a fountain pen or a ball pen or any other any other kind of writing instrument. One of my friends suggested telling him ki main kis asmanjas main pada hoon. If he were a girl, I would have definitely told her that I want her autograph. She could have kissed my hands or anything else *wink wink*. Unfortunately, Pankaj Ji is a ‘He’ without an ‘S’. So, I needed something to write upon and something to write with. I hereby convey my best wishes to him and expect his comment on this post as his autograph. I hope you shall win more accolades for India. Cheers to you.

Now, the time has come to zero in on the title of the post. Since, I could not get a slot in Amoeba, I was observing how low waist jeans affects the performance of an average bowling player.

-    If a boy is wearing low waist jeans, he can’t bend down beyond a limit as bending beyond the threshold might cause his pants go down, which would look obscene.
-    Also, boys have to pull up their jeans every now and then so as not cause any embarrassment to themselves and the acquaintances.
-    It was also noticed that people who wear low rise jeans wear premium underwear to attract same (jamana badal raha hai yaron) or opposite sex. Of course, Rupa is a premium brand.
-    It was also observed by some people that some ‘Hes’ who wear low rise jeans don’t wear anything inside at all. Isn’t it disgusting? Let me answer this. It is disgusting. I sincerely request all ‘Hes’ who wear low rise jeans and who don’t wear low rise jeans, please wear some kind of undergarment when you go out. At least, wear leaves and contribute to the green initiative.

Another incident happened in Total mall when I was queued up for billing. I saw a beautiful creation on one of the pamphlets lying on the billing counter. I did not miss to click a snap with my ultra cool Samsung phone. Here it goes

A Piece of Artwork

Cheers!!

Confession

On that day, there were so many people in the shop. The shopkeeper was not able to manage the crowd. In the hurry, the shopkeeper left one of the fountain pens over the desk. Vijay opened his fist to check once again how much money he had got. He could not move his eyes off the pen lying on the counter. He was struggling to win over the greed inside him. Finally, he decided that he would steal the pen.

He took off the pen stealthily and made his way out of the shop. As soon as he came out of the shop, he ran. He ran until he became breathless; he ran until he felt that he was far enough from the shop. When his mother asked where he got the pen, Vijay told her that he got it lying on the road while coming back from the market. A 10 year old kid had broken the law and he was enjoying it.

He filled the ink into the fountain pen with great interest. Every word he wrote with that pen made him love it more. When you are in so much in love with something, the though of losing it gives goose bumps. So, he was very cautious that he did not lose the pen.

A few days passed. A lesson was taught in the school that stealing is a sin. Vijay watched a serial on the television which showed that everyone hates a thief. Suddenly, everything reminded Vijay that he had stolen a pen. Earlier these lessons were theories but now Vijay was able to relate to them with a real life experience. Theories make much more sense when we can relate to them with reality.

Vijay went to the stationary shop again. He asked the price of the pen he had stolen. He saved his pocket money. When he had enough money to pay the price of the pen, he went to the shop. He confessed to the shopkeeper and paid the price of the pen. He was feeling lighter today.

We have learnt these lessons a couple of years back but most of us don’t forget to steal when we get a chance. What else we forget often is a confession.

Cheers!!

Finding Myself…

In my blood,
Tell me,
Oh God,
What flows?

Koshish Jaari Rahegi

“Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”

Cheers!!