To Be Or Not To BE

Although this post takes its title from a famous Shakespeare’s soliloquy, it is not supposed to resemble Hamlet in any way. Pyaar-Ka-Punchnama gave many reasons to celebrate bachelorhood, but a marriageable bachelor’s mind often refuses to understand logic.

Similar to the Hamlet’s dilemma about whether to live or die, a bachelor often finds himself in a dilemma about whether to stay single or get married. Physics and Chemistry play a major role in diverting the attention of an otherwise focussed bachelor. Often, when we believe that ‘Life-Sahi-Hai’, chemistry conspires and, ultimately, screws our happiness.

As an Indian bachelor crosses the age of twenty-five years, his parents start showing signs of varying degrees of worry. Under immense stress, our Indian bachelor resorts to one of the umpteen matrimonial portals. Finally, technology has started playing a role in our life. Oftentimes, I wish if I had started one of the matrimonial portals. Jokes apart, the bachelor in context starts enjoying the pics of the chicks and immensely funny profiles. In the process, he also starts to understand the expectations of a Sundar, Susheel and Hot prospects.

After laughing at them for a couple of months, the bachelor now becomes serious and starts sending proposals to the eligible prospects. Most of the prospects either outrightly refuse to accept the proposal or wait list our bachelor’s request. Happy moments come, when he gets to meet some of the prospects. When such meetings happen, both the parties are not able to identify each other in spite of standing in front of each other because of various reasons. One of these reasons is that matrimony pictures have no resemblance with the actual appearance of the people. Many people, especially women, believe that they still look the same as they used to when they were sixteen. Again, technology comes for rescue. Both the parties call each other and stay agape with wonder when their eyes first get each other. Their mind refuses the erase the image registered earlier. Suddenly the following song starts making sense to both the parties:

‘Oh my god lag gayi, kya se kya hua’

So, both the parties sit together, order expensive drinks and start stealing each other’s glances. They talk all about their expectations, aspirations and ambitions. Personal space, ability to take their own decisions, likes and dislikes are some major topics of discussion. Finally, the time comes to disperse. While the boy pays the cheque, the girl takes a look around. Finally, they bid traditional goodbye and their ways part.

Now, both the parties start to analyze the minutes of meeting. The analysis requires advance knowledge of human behavior, which the male fraternity often lacks. Finally, the girl reaches to a conclusion that this proposal is not worth going ahead with. Boy also analyses everything, concludes that things might work. Finally, the bitwise-and of the boolean decisions of the girl and the boy is taken and both the parties resume searching on the mighty matrimonial sites.

After many unsuccessful attempts, our bachelor creates the following profile.

The boy is a B.TECH from an IIT, has completed MBA from Harvard and, currently earning about $500,000”

All the girls, who have declined our bachelor’s proposals, promptly send their requests. After the revenge, our bachelor starts thinking

To marry or not to marry.”

Then parents put more pressure and our Indian bachelor sends a new proposal on a sloshy sunday.

Conclusion: Finding a partner might me more difficult than putting the toothpaste back into the tube.

Interestingly, I found the following comment in the spam queue on my blog

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.”