One night at the hostel………

“I have to make it through this time…if not now then there are no options left…and I never had one…as I keep the plural of the word ‘option’ out of my dictionary…what I want I shall get it…but sometimes it comes to my mind that I am not eligible for what I want to achieve…..” Utkarsha was thinking with eyes wide open…with a book open on his desk…the pages of which were flipping as if they want to be free of the binding…but it was the fan rotating at the max speed which was helping them…Utkarsha used to do “Night Day Dreaming” and “Day Dreaming” whenever he could feel that he had no time and he was supposed to do something important which would have a deep impact on him in the near future…

It was a hot summer night … the bed was still simmering even at 2 o’ clock in the night… Everybody was busy studying as the semesters were on… Even at 2 o’ clock in the night all the rooms were open with light or table lamps on… We can see a queue in front of the toppers room as everybody want to be very clear about the fundamentals of the subject…On the last day….when students have only a few hours to study… everybody could be found busy understanding the fundamentals….

It was already 3 AM and only 5 hours were left for the exam to start…in one of the rooms a boy was trying to teach an algorithm to his batch mate…this is how they were conversing ….”so the next step is like this…the other colleague aksed…”How…?”…abe saale aj hi saare funde clear kar lega kya…maine rat lia hai…tub bhi rat le…” the other colleague, who was being taught, immediately took the books…oops..sorry…notes not the book…and started cramming the theorem….del over del y of x is………….

Suddenly, somebody announced….CHAI CHAI CHAI….oh so we are going to grab a cup of tea…the call woke Utkarsha up and he immediately cried…”Main bhi aa raha hoon…”…but it will kill time so notes had to be carried along….of course,with tea , a stimulant, everybody could understand better and faster…At the tea stal,guys from other hostels could also be seen …with notes in one hand and a glass in other…but nobody was studying…basically it was time to discuss some critical plans and some “Gapshap”…Dilip…”Ek Chai Aur”

When we returned to the hostel, it was already 4 AM…so it was high time to start studying …only 4 hrs were left…Utkasrsha was into his “Morning Day Dream”…when he woke up and started studying…he was thinking about his would be girl friend…but now he could understand that he had to study otherwise the deep impact would really be a deep impact…

At 6 AM….most of the people were still busy in understanding the concepts…but the time left was quite less…so, it was “Farra” time…some of the “genius” guys of the batch started the process of preparing “farras”…the skills these people had was amazing…very small and very clear…other less skilled people decided to take the Xerox…Now, the question was how to use it…so, one of the “genius” guys came forward with an “Idea”…the idea was to paste the “farra” on the handkerchief with the cello tapes and the person had to keep wiping his nose with that handkerchief in the examination hall…

Somehow, everybody was well prepared for the exams before the scheduled time…and the hostel was empty by 8 AM…..waiting for another happening night…………….

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Memoirs…

1.

On a not so happening evening uncle Gajendar (or Ganjendra if you spell correctly) came to our house. He used to tease me whenever he got a chance. But today it was my turn J…As soon as he tried to become proactive…I asked, “Uncle, can you see that huge banyan tree?”He replied: Yes…why did you ask this question…
Me: I have some plans for you…I shall cut you into pieces with a sword and hang all your body parts on that tree.
Uncle was stunned…He called my father immediately and said that I am really DANGEROUS. From that day he never teased me. I was in class 2nd at that time.

2.

I was fond of flying kites…but my parents were strictly against it…Once I saved my pocket money…and bought a new kite kit…came home…mother was waiting for me…she tore my brand new kit and threw it into the trash can…I could not believe it …later I decided that I shall hide somewhere…I found a hide out in my home itself and settled myself there…Everybody searched for me…inside…outside…friend’s place…everywhere but they could not locate me…Finally, I felt the hunger and came out…Nobody said anything to me but everybody was relaxed now…Now, whenever I think about this incident, I feel very sad for my mother…I shouldn’t have done this…..I was in class 5th at that time…..

3.

We had a shop a couple of years back. One day an uncle came to the shop to buy something…I took some time to calculate the money he had to pay…suddenly, he interrupted me, “Do you study…Which class are you in..?…why are you taking so much time in adding”…I didn’t reply to him at that time…I told him the amount…I was in class 8th at that time…After a couple of years later I qualified JEE and he came to my house with his son for some tips to crack JEE…I gave him the answer without uttering a single word…I do not forget to answer questions raised for me……..

I have many stories to tell, but I also have some work to be done…So, its time to stop writing and complete the highest priority task…i.e. Work…


V-Day….

Chandu could be seen in the washroom after every half and hour…caressing his hair…looking at himself in the mirror with anticipation…though he doesn’t have enough hairs on his head and he was not going to participate in Mr. India contest…but he was doing it…..Please do not assume that I was also in the washroom after every half and hour to meet him…I met him only once…

“Kya baat Hai Chandu bhai….aj bahut khayal rakh rahe ho apna..?”

Chandu bhai became rosy,”Nahi Kuch Nahi”

But, I asked again, “Nahi Kuch to hai…”

Now, Chandu said that he’s going propose someone…so he wants to make sure that he keeps everything as impressive as possible. I wished him best of luck.

Next day I saw him again and could see that he was the old Chandu again…with messy hairs…casually dressed… I asked what happened yesterday…So this is how he narrated all the things happened to him in the past…

I started liking her from the day we met in the club. The first match I played with her was the last match we won in the club…’coz I could not zero in on the match…The reason was that I did not want to hurt her as she could cover the complete court by herself. She didn’t need the partner actually but it’s a rule that 2 players have to be on one side of the court so she had to have a partner. Nobody wanted to make a team with her so I have been getting chance to play (or would rather call it being in the court with her or standing in the back alley of the court in idle mode) all the games with her. Anyway, I had started liking her and wanted to tell her my feeling. I asked her to meet me at Barista, MG Road on a non stormy day…she agreed.

Hmm…(it was me)

I started for the MG road one hour before the scheduled meeting time…She was also on time…But, suddenly Ramesh met us and unfortunately he was a common friend of us…So, we spent the next 2 hours together talking about work culture… workload… club… etc… After holy Ramesh departed… I told her all the things I had been cramming for the whole day….I was on my knees…eyes closed…when I didn’t hear anything for the next 2 minutes…I opened my eyes …there was no one…I felt like dying immediately…I turned around and started for the parking space on church street. Then suddenly I felt a hand trying to hold me from behind. It was the little girl who sells rose on church street (Bangalore Junta must have seen her…)… She gave me a rose and pointed towards her…Yes, She accepted…..she came closer to me and said…”I didn’t even feel that you are such a nice guy…Chalo tumhare lie ek sher…arz kia hai…”…I was so happy that I couldn’t see or feel anything…she said again, ”arz kia hai..”…I woke up,”Irshaad”
So, the sher she said was

“Saato Asman ki Saer ham kar aaye….
Har ek taare se Dosti Kar aaye..
Ek Tara khas tha jise ham apne saath le aaye…
Varna aap hi Sochiye ki aap Is Jameen par kaise aaye…”

“Chalie Chandu Ji…Aj ka dinner hamari taraf se..” …we went to Copper Chimney for the dinner…I couldn’t believe it ..but it is true…The V-day had finally came for me…even though it was not 14th Feb …

Hmmm..I said…Mubarak Ho…Ab ap bhi dokele ho gaye…Ek aur member FOSLA se kam hua…

FOSLA stands for “Frustrated One-sided Lovers Association”.


You decide….

I was talking to one my friends about a community I came through a couple of days back. The community is all about posting female profiles. In the description of the community it is strictly mentioned that anybody who posts objectionable (pornographic) content shall be banned from the community. The female profiles are called Mangoes (“Aam”) and discussion topics in the community were “Naya Aam…Pata Nahi Kahan ka Aam…etc”. Well, the community is doing good business and has around 3000 members to its credit.

So, we were three persons and condition was that only two will get into arguments at a time. It was me and Sameer who started the discussion. The third guy, Bhupendra, was listening to us.

Sameer was really frustrated with the kind of words the people were using for the profiles. It could have been put in better words also. He said that it’s pathetic to have such a community and such people around who think in this way. He said that the people intend to bother those girls whose profiles were posted with zillions of friend requests. He said the girls are also a living being with human feelings and some respect would really encourage them. Then they shall be able to understand the meaning of the word freedom better. These ******* are absolute loosers and they are like this because they know they can never even talk to such a girl forget meet and touch them.

Now, it was my turn. I said that it’s fine to have such a community but the comments and discussions topics could have been put in better words also. I agreed that we should give respect to the girls and should not bother or disgrace them just for fun. All the people are not bad it is the environment they live in make them think the way they do. But, as far as I am concerned I have never teased any girl or caused trouble of any kind. I follow some rules and regulation set by me for myself. I abide by these rules. But, I know girls who bother boys and I know incidents where the victims were boys.

Now Bhupendra could not keep quiet and spoke.

“Kya Mishra Ji”…You people are sounding very feministic. You are looking only at one side of the coin but what about the other side. I know a community whose name is also a fruit’s name and where the victims are boys. Recently, I went to Goa…met a person there. He was cursing his woman and told me how mean a girl can be. If nobody is breaking the threshold then it is fine and actually being a masculine gender it is most unavoidable thing “itihaas mein itne udaharan hai”.

So, a person acts according to the experience he/she had earlier and we cannot generalize anything without considering all the possible test cases. What do you feel…?


Pani Pani re….

It was a usual bright sunny day…and I was getting late for the office again…we did not have enough water for our daily activities…we had been facing water problem for the last couple of days…was very frustrated ‘coz nothing good was happening with us that day…we were planning to buy toilet paper ‘coz it was sure that we would need it sometime….when the things become so urgent that we cannot bear the pain until the time it takes to come to the office from home….anyway…we thought that it’s time to talk to the person “Paaji Buddha” who looks after all the maintenance activities ….as soon as we opened the door our Janitor showed us a notice….”Fatwa”…in the “fatwa” the “Paaji Buddha” has written that the water usage has increased in the society so we need to pool more money…he asked to pay double the maintenance we usually pay….it was not possible in any way that we are going to pay a penny more…we had to write our stance on the “fatwa”…my roommate wrote…”The time has come when the two of us should leave this place…”

Then our cook came…we were happy that at least we had some water left in the kitchen…I plugged in the FM…it was playing, “Ye kaam kamaan bhavein teri..palkon ke kinare kajrare…maathe pe sindoori sooraj…hothon pe dehekte angaare…saaya job hi tera pad jaaye aabaad ho mera veeranaa…chandan sa bandan….chanchal chitwan”….I really like this song…it made me feel good…I asked my cook…”Bhai saab, valentine kya hota hai jaante hain…”..bhai saab who is a boy aged 23 replied, “sab janta hoon main..14 farvari ko hota hai na…”…hmm….I asked, “tabto apki koi dost bhi hogi…jiske sath aap celebrate karte honge 14 farvari”…”Bhai saab” became nostalgic…he looked up and started telling us his love story….”I used to share drinks with one my friends…one day when we were drinking…he asked me if I want to get married…he said,” If you want I know a nice girl…all you have to do is to make her father happy”….and how can I do that…he said, “He also comes here for drinks…be a friend of him”…so I started working on this plan…gradually her father became a good friend of mine…Then one day my friend conveyed the marriage proposal to her father…he agreed asked me to come to his home and stay for a night…I told my all my roommates that there is a “Jagrata”…put on a new “Kurta Pyjama” and reached to her house…As soon as I entered here I saw 12 children in her house…some with running nose…some with running (censored)…I was stunned to see such a scene…all of them were her siblings…Then she came…her name is Anita…she was a nice girl…I told her clearly that I would not marry her but we can become friends…we are still friends…and I do call her once in a month…”….

I said, ”Sahi hai bhai saab ekdum…sahi aadmi ho ap..sab kuch ek baar main saaf saaf keh dia”….while listening to the story I finished the breakfast….but it was already 9:45 AM and I had only 15 minutes left to reach my office…..So, the race began…I took my bike out of the parking place…and suddenly…”Piicch” …Something dropped on my bike’s speedometer….”Shit”…An poem I read recently came into my mind…this is how it was…

“Birdy birdy in the sky…
left a poopie on my bike….
me don’ care me don’t cry…
me just happy that a cow can’t fly…”

The poem made me happy…I raced my bike and reached office just a few minutes before the clock could hit 10 AM….Success…”Don ka office late pahunchna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai…”