Images

When I open my eyes in the dark after putting tremendous efforts in sleeping, which usually don’t yield positive results , I see many images which I can not see when there is light. Some of them are familiar but there are some images which I have never seen in reality. I am unable to understand why I conjure images which are unfamiliar.

Sometimes these images are haunting. It takes a glass of cold water or a face wash to calm down after I see those images. They reflect the inherent fear in me. But, I am unable to understand why I get paralyzed when I want to stop that event from happening. It feels like I am trying to do something about it but I am unable to move. It feels like I am about to drown and I am suffocating. Somehow, conscious mind wins and all those images disappear suddenly. Then all I can see is void and all I can listen to is the fan revolving furiously and my heartbeat.

Sometimes these images are inspiring. They depict me as a winner in everything I do. I don’t want them to disappear but they disappear like the haunting images. Everything seems possible for a moment but as soon as the conscious mind takes the command the feeling also goes away.

The images, although unreal, reflect me. They inspire me; they haunt me; they remind me of all the people I care about; they give me an indication of what is in the womb of future. It has happened in the past that I encountered some of the unfamiliar images in reality. I lived those moments with a sense of déjà vu even if they were haunting when I conjured them. I was sure that the end would be in my favor because I knew the end.